Journalistic Integrity.

I said that sometimes this blog would be about corn dogs. How long has it been since I made a genuine ode to mysterious animal byproduct rolled in corn flour and deep fried to white trash culinary perfection? TOO LONG, said the Corn Dog Gods. (I know this church is true.)

Since Utah recently got its first Trader Joe's, my coworkers and I decided to make an adventure of it during lunch today. I picked up oodles of organic this and that, but obviously, this had to come home with me:

There is something so wickedly, delightfully oxymoronic about a wonderful hippie leftist food company trying to sell a healthy corn dog. No Nitrates or Nitrites, guys! (Also, WHAT ON EARTH is the difference between nitrates and nitrites? I don't know. Don't want to know.) It's a corn dog, guys. A CORN DOG. There is no scenario wherein animal byproduct shaped like a machine mold and rolled in corn batter could be considered a wise or fancy choice. Not ever.

Does that mean you shouldn't eat it? Please. You should absolutely eat it, treasure it, and then praise the Corn Dog Gods, AND DON'T FORGET SHISKA DOG GOD, said the Corn Dog Gods in reply. But the day I see someone patting herself on the back for buying a turkey corn dog is the day she should also be openly mocked by all her peers, and possibly throat punched.

That being said, I totally bought these, wrote my name on them, and put them in the office freezer, loving them for exactly what they are.


Popular Posts