In light of me not being able to properly edit the embarrassingly dramatic live-blog that Lacey and I endured last week on the bachelor, I've decided to spare you, and only provide my Post Bachelor G-Chat Highlight.
Lorraine: AHHHHH!!!!! Shawntel!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I don't believe it.
Lacey: Crazy right?
Lorraine: I love her! Dan had a crush on her Brad's season! I'm watching right now.
Lacey: I know I liked her a lot too. She made me want to be a mortician.
Lorraine: hahaha, great conversation starter for any dating reality show. make the model die. Make the model be dead, and then you or Shawntel (or both of you) can formaldehyde her.
Lacey: I'd relish the opportunity.
Lorraine: oh no, I've started off the bachelor convo prematurely. We're half live-blogging hahah. That's how sick I've become. I can't even WAIT.
Lacey: I don't know. It makes it kind of exciting! Discussing it with you as you discover it is thrilling!
Lorraine: I like that Elyse is refusing to leave, haha. I don't think she would have left if Ben hadn't made her. THEY ARE ALL STANDING RIGHT THERE???!! Elyse needs to die. Along with the Normal Nice Model.
Lacey: Elyse is bug-eyed combative! Minus 10 points for her!
Lorraine: your scoring method is accepted.
Lorraine: let's see...who was the first date again? Hahaha. Oh yes, EMILY! the germ doctor.
Lacey: Oh the date of WAY too many love analogies.
Lorraine: hahahahahha, I totally wrote down every cliche thing that they said. Ben's list was up to 10.
Lacey: Ben says "love is all about diving head first"... into a sea of rapidly moving vehicles.
Lorraine: "I feel like we've taken this date to new heights" ...for the world record of most embarrassing bachelor voiceovers at 2,000 feet.
Lacey: So, my favorite line of the night went to Nicki aka Donkey Girl when she was crying about Shawntel being there. She said "She comes riding in here on her high hearse- no pun intended..." Are you sure Nicki? Are you really sure?
Lorraine: HA!!! Nikki was a walking basket case the whole night. She's another one of those people I've barely seen in the same room as Ben, and she's beside herself because of her jealousy over some girl.
Lacey: and Courtney's "What's her butt" coming in with a close second. There's a 4th grader in all of us, I suppose.
Lorraine: I think my favorite comment was in reference to the Nice Normal Model, according to Emily. "I think she has a disorder. I think she should be diagnosed." I love when all the girls start diagnosing each other with disorders, bwah ha ha. classic bachelor.
Lacey: Ahh! That was the best moment of my life!