I'm scrambling to get this post in during my lunch break because it has been so long. My posts have had to become less regular as I now am in a position which requires me to do real and rewarding work from 8-5. This requirement is nothing short of absolutely wonderful. For the first time since my long ago posts at the Committee on Foreign Affairs, I feel like I am doing something special, challenging, and rewarding. I have great expectations and responsibilities on me, but I also have coworkers and superiors who are thoughtfully guiding me towards not only being an effective employee for today, but for forever. They’ve invested in my knowledge, education, and satisfaction. They’ve provided me a bigger picture of WHY I do the things I do, and not just how. Really, I feel like by total accident I fell into a field that I am not just making a living in, but really that I’m thriving in, and putting all my skills and abilities to use. I AM USEFUL!!!! Beautiful words to my soul. I have officially upgraded from TV Sets made before 1987 and John Wilkes Booth's hands. I am useful.
I am so happy to be doing the work I’m doing, and I can actually picture myself staying put for a good long while and reaping the benefits of working for the Uvinersity of Uhat for a long time. PHEW!
We bought a house! (pictures soon, promise). We closed on our 11 month anniversary, and last night Danny bought me a fancy sky-blue key with 2 little birds on it; the key that opens our nest! I’m enamored with this house more and more every time I see it (especially as it gets more clean, more painted, more liveable, more ours.) Once we get in carpets and paint the last room, we can start moving in.
Owning a house is scary. It doesn’t make me more grown up, it just makes me more permanent on the earth. I’ve prided myself on my ability to flee and build anew, and suddenly I’m married, in a house with a mortgage, and working at a job I can actually picture myself keeping. And that’s freaky, until I apply the really wonderful thing I heard this morning.
Today at a work meeting, a really remarkable individual from our med school came to speak to us, and he remarked, in quite simple terms, that “It’s not what you do , it’s what you learn from what you do that makes the difference.” In the context of ambitious doctoral students who buff their resumes for show or garner experiences to stretch their minds and hearts, you can see how true it is for them, and I see how true it could be for me. Yes, I could (and have) have life altering moments on the other side of the world, but every day of my everyday life is a chance to learn something from what I’m doing. In short, I feel like building stability around me may be what I need to let my own little emotional innards do some proper wandering. My feet are calloused enough for now from my weary life wanderings, and now I get to put some miles on my heart. It feels right. Most of the time :)